Our of my front garden, where it was locked up. Some CUNTISH ARSEHOLE came into my FUCKING FRONT GARDEN in the night while I was ASLEEP ALONE IN THE HOUSE and took the bike (minus the front wheel, which was the bit that was locked). FUCKING FUCKING ARSEHOLE FUCKER. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.
This is the FOURTH bike I have had nicked since I've been an adult - three from Cambridge, one from here. The only place where I never had a bike nicked? LONDON. Even when I drunkenly left it unlocked overnight in the city centre. TAKE THAT YOU ARSEHOLES WHO THINK LONDON IS UNSAFE. FUCK YOU, NOTTINGHAM.
I AM ENRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGED.